Moments online are much like moments in day-to-day life. Some are mundane--ordinary--while others are extraordinary.

And sometimes a moment might seem like nothing very special--but with time that same moment will take on a singular magic.

Since that day in computer lab at school when I was nearly stung while casually IMing with Deb, I've never looked at honey bees in the same way.



It was a little thing, sharing my encounter with the bee with Deb. She was concerned for my safety--though I admit I was probably safe enough. (LOL.)

I guess somehow that buzzing bee became a reminder to me--and has remained one to this day.

Isn't it wonderful how being in love can make something ordinary into something incredibly special?

I don't think I'd ever again have the heart to kill a honey bee. (Though that kindness doesn't extend to wasps, hornets, yellow jackets and the like. ROFL.) And interestingly enough, if you're careful with honey bees, you'll never get stung by one...

I suppose there's a lesson there--about using care toward others.

Current Mood: thankful

I clearly remember my first encounters online with Deb. She had such a charismatic personality that I found her irresistible!

What I soon discovered was that she also had a husband...

Deb was quick to let me know her status--and I was quick to indicate I was backing off. She never intended to mislead me--nor did I intend to be dishonorable with her.

We both had enormous respect for her wedding vows.



But as we grew to know one another better and better, it was clear that there was a strong attraction between us.

I should mention that I wasn't the only man who had noticed this about Deb. I recall her telling me that she constantly had men throwing themselves at her--and that she was forever telling men she was unavailable as a married woman. I'm not surprised to hear that there were many who felt a pull to be closer to her. Some might think that it would be difficult to grow close in an online environment, but I've never found that to be the case!

The question here became one of what was decent and what was not. Would a cyber relationship risk trampling on what we both saw as important vows--as a meaningful commitment between Deb and her husband Garin?

I spent long hours in discussion with my parents--and in prayer. I became convinced that Garin and I could share his amazing wife--and that Deb and I could share affection without besmirching any part of her life with her husband.

Back then I didn't know about things like 'polyamorous relationships'--where a devoted couple will agree to allow others to be close to them. All I knew was my feelings toward Deb.

It hadn't taken me very long to realize I was falling in love with her...

I can especially remember sharing humor at the beginning, which was something we'd continue to share all during our relationship. I also recall that it didn't take us long to start telling one another the details of our lives--including things I hadn't shared much with my other friends, either on or off line.

I suppose it's easy now to look back and say we were wrong to allow ourselves to go beyond friendship. But I've talked it over many times with my wife, and she seems to totally understand. (Again, she was strongly in favor of creating this journal so I'd have a place where I could memorialize my relationship with Deb. In many ways this journal was her idea!)

Will we need to define new boundaries for the cyber age? Is it really fair to use old boundaries to determine the right and wrong in cases like this?

I always compared our relationship to those that had taken place all through history--where a man and woman who lived long distances from one another would interact entirely via correspondence in letters.

Deb and I never exchanged photographs or spoke on the phone. There was always something 'other wordly' about our love.

And even in the first few encounters it was obvious to me that we two were meant to be close friends--and something else, as well...

Current Mood: thoughtful

Some people leave their footprints in our lives...



It doesn't matter if we've never met someone face to face. Nor does it matter if we've actually seen the face of our online lover.

A face is just a face, after all. But the soul has a beauty that shines brighter than the most lovely features!

Deb was such a person for me. She left her footprints in my life. And unlike footprints in the sand that are quickly washed away by the tide, those special footprints have remained. They're inside me, like footprints set in stone that can never disappear with the whims of weather or the passing years.

Some days I find myself saying or doing something that I can trace back to those very footprints. Then I smile--and I let myself remember the woman I knew so well, in spite of our physical separation in time and space.

I always said there was something very special about cyber love, and I still believe that today. We never touched our lips together, yet I kissed her thousands of times! We never wrapped our arms around one another, yet there is no one alive I've hugged as often...

Deb left footprints on my heart--and I'm so glad she did.

Current Mood: nostalgic